Our family has had a lot of mile-marker memories this year. We’ve celebrated a 6th grade graduation, a new driver’s license, a high school graduation, even a new puppy! It’s been a crazy year for our family! My favorite milestone was our twenty year wedding anniversary. I don’t know if it’s because I’ve spent the year in sentimental mode, or what, but when I think about it… there is so much good that oozes from that number TWENTY!
As I do so many Monday mornings, I take the pen to paper. In a grateful prayer to God for His provisions, I wrote this blog.
Top 10 reasons I’m IN LOVE with my husband after 20 years.
9. Friendship: He is still my best friend and hero. I don’t ever have to wonder which one of my girlfriends I’m going to spill my guts to. He’s right there to listen. In full disclosure, sometimes I have to dig around the deer stands, ammo, and fishing rods, but he’s there!
8. It’s healthy: There are No worries of diseases or illnesses brought into the marriage. We have chosen a covenant marriage. That means when we went to the altar in 1995, We said I do, and we were done with everyone else. We have a clean bill of health.
7. Place of Safety: The home is a safe harbor for the kids. Because of the covenant marriage, when we committed to the good, the bad and the ugly, the kids have no fear they will be left behind for selfish desires. They are safe, in a world full of uncertainty. It doesn’t matter how old they are, they need this certainty. The know the “D” word (divorce) is not an option.
6. Emotional Rollercoaster: Being married for 20 years, it’s given us an emotional safe place. After all these years, believe me, he’s ready for it all! The tears, laughter, grief…He’s got it (although I still throw some doozies at him every once in a while)!
5. Never alone: Loneliness is a thing of the past. Sometimes there doesn’t need to be a long conversation. Just being there is enough. This has to be an intentional thing… not just assumed. Marriage is WORK!
4. The Great Fight: We’ve learned the art of fighting. You’ve not lived until you have learned how to maneuver through a fight with your best friend. Oh the stories I could tell you!
3. Chivalry is still alive: After 20 years, he still opens every door for me. He still fills up my gas tank when I’m on empty. He still mows the lawn. He STILL puts the needs of others ahead of his own. Contrary to what the feminazi movement says… Chivalry is still alive and well, and I’ll let him do it any day of the week!
2. Spiritual Leadership: This is probably one of the most important ingredients to a successful marriage. If God was not at the center of our relationship, one of us probably would have killed the other! If my children take one thing from our marriage into their marriages, it’s this one.
1. The power of embarrassment: This is my favorite! We can still embarrass our children with stolen smooches! “OH GET A ROOM GUYS!”
Postscript: He carries out the dead things: If you live in a family like mine, you probably have had every pet in the world. You’ve seen the spiders, the snakes, and even the cuties…. My husband carries them out when they have seen their last day. I just simply can’t look at them after they took their last breath on earth. My husband shows no fear giving them the burial they deserve. From the last trip to the vet, to the last flush down the toilet… He’s there.
Marriage is hard. Covenant marriage is even harder. But there is seriously no greater reward in life. To those who have been married longer than 20 years like the amazing example both of our parents gave to us, I’m sure this blog looks elementary! I can’t wait to learn the lessons from you guys!
To those who have just started the journey, can I encourage you? We are living in TOUGH times. We are living in a world that says, “Make me feel good, and let me love who I want to love!” Sometimes marriage doesn’t “feel good” or isn’t what we thought it would be at the moment. When you hit those times…hold on. There is so much to be gained from holding on.